Or maybe there was, but jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally adored to notice. This is the smart-mouthed, soul-searching story of a woman trying to figure out what happens next when she's gone from six figures to unemployment checks and she stops to reconsider some of the less-than-rosy attitudes and values she thought she'd never have to answer for when times were good.
Filled with caustic wit and unusual insight, it's a rollicking read as speedy and unpredictable as the trajectory of a burst balloon.
Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority Girl's Guide to Why it Often Sucks in the City, or Who are These Idiots and Why Do They All Live Next Door to Me?
. Jen lancaster hates to burst your happy little bubble, but life in the big city isn't all it's cracked up to be. And if anyone doesn't like it, pink, fat, they can kiss her big, puffy down parka. Contrary to what you see on TV and in the movies, most urbanites aren't party-hopping in slinky dresses and strappy stilettos.
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Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover if Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, Or Why Pi e is Not The Answer
Unfortunately, being overweight isn't simply a societal issue that can be fixed with a dose healthy of positive self-esteem. Because what good is finally being able to afford a pedicure if I lose a foot to adult onset diabetes?"Watch a QuickTime trailer for this book. I don't find these stories uplifting; they make me want to hug these women and take them out for fizzy champagne drinks and cheesecake and explain to them that until they figure out their insides, their outsides don't matter.
And i hate the message that women can't possibly be happy until we all fit into our skinny jeans.
Pretty in Plaid: A Life, A Witch, and a Wardrobe, or, the Wonder Years Before the Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smart-Ass Phase
Jen lancaster's cultural inferiority complex had to come from somewhere. And now fans can find out where in this hilarious New York Times bestselling memoir from the author of Bitter is the New Black. In this hilarious and touching memoir, Jen Lancaster looks back on her life—and wardrobe—and reveals a young woman not so different from the rest of us.
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The Tao of Martha: My Year of LIVING; Or, Why I'm Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog
Maybe jen can avoid food poisoning if she follows Martha’s dictates on proper storage. Maybe she can rid her workout clothes of meatball stains by using Martha’s laundry tips. Again. And maybe she’ll discover that the key to happiness does, in fact, lie in Martha’s perfectly arranged cupboards and charcuterie platters.
After all, she’s no Martha Stewart. Maybe she can create a more meaningful anniversary celebration than getting drunk in the pool with her husband. And that’s why jen is going to martha up and live her life according to the advice of America’s overachieving older sister—the woman who turns lemons into lavender-infused lemonade.
One would be wrong.
My Fair Lazy: One Reality Television Addict's Attempt to Discover If Not Being A Dumb Ass Is t he New Black; Or, A Culture-Up Manifesto
She may discover that well-regarded, high-priced stinky cheese tastes exactly as bad as it smells, and that her love for Kraft American Singles is forever. In jen’s corner is a crack team of experts, including Page Six socialites, gourmet chefs, an opera aficionado, and a master sommelier. Readers have followed new york times bestselling author Jen Lancaster through job loss, weight loss attempts, sucky city living, and 1980s nostalgia.
But one thing’s for certain: Eliza Doolittle’s got nothing on Jen Lancaster—and failure is an option.
Jeneration X: One Reluctant Adult's Attempt to Unarrest Her Arrested Development; Or, Why It's Never Too Late for Her Dumb Ass to Learn Why Froot Loops Are Not for Dinner
From getting a mammogram to volunteering at a halfway house, she tackles the grown-up activities she’s resisted for years, and with each rite of passage she completes, she’ll uncover a valuable—and probably humiliating—life lesson that will ease her path to full-fledged, if reluctant, adulthood.
In my fair lazy, she expanded her mind.
Stories I'd Tell in Bars
. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. If she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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I Regret Nothing: A Memoir
She embarked on a quest for cultural enlightenment that only cemented her love for John Hughes movies and Kraft American Singles. She then carried a Prada bag to the unemployment office. The new york times bestsellernew york times bestselling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement.
She tried to embrace everything Martha Stewart, while living with a menagerie of rescue cats and dogs. Glitter…everywhere. Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in savannah makes her realize that she is—yikes!—middle-aged binge watching is so the new binge drinking, Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day, even if that means having her tattoo removed at one hundred times the cost of putting it on.
From attempting a juice cleanse to studying italian, jen is turning a mid-life crisis into a mid-life opportunity, and from sampling pasta in Rome to training for a 5K, from learning to ride a bike to starting a new business, sharing her sometimes bumpy—but always hilarious—attempts to better her life…again.
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Housebroken: Admissions of an Untidy Life
Library Journal . If laurie notaro’s books don’t inspire pants-wetting fits of laughter, clearly, because, then please consult your physician, your funny bone is broken. Jen lancaster, author of i regret nothing#1 new york times bestselling author laurie Notaro isn’t exactly a domestic goddess—unless that means she fully embraces her genetic hoarding predisposition, sneaks peeks at her husband’s daily journal, or has made a list of the people she wants on her Apocalypse Survival team her husband’s not on it.
From defying nature in the quest to make her own twinkies, to teaching her eight-year-old nephew about hoboes, to begging her new neighbors not to become urban livestock keepers, Notaro recounts her best efforts—and hilarious failures—in keeping a household inches away from being condemned. Notaro chronicles her chronic misfortune in the domestic arts, cleaning, including cooking, and putting on Spanx while sweaty which should technically qualify as an Olympic sport.
Housebroken is a rollicking new collection of essays showcasing her irreverent wit and inability to feel shame.
At Least in the City Someone Would Hear Me Scream: Misadventures in Search of the Simple Life
In this rollicking and hilarious memoir, wade and his partner, cable, Gary, leave culture, and consumerism behind and strike out for rural Michigan—a place with fewer people than in their former spinning class. And though he never does learn where his well water actually comes from or how to survive without Kashi cereal, Michigan, he does discover some things in the woods outside his knotty-pine cottage in Saugatuck, that he always dreamed of but never imagined he’d find–happiness and a home.
Battling blizzards, and nosy neighbors equipped with night-vision goggles, Wade and his spirit, sanity, relationship, bloodthirsty critters, and Kenneth Cole pointy-toed boots are sorely tested with humorous and humiliating frequency. There, wade discovers the simple life isn’t so simple. We all dream about it, but Wade Rouse actually did it.
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